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Dating and Marriage, Marriage

How to find a Christian husband

This revelation is NOT just for the ladies. Men please read this because we outline what you need to do as well.

Some of the church has fallen into a well laid trap. Our focus should be on our Husband. A bride loves her Husband. She is not to focused on her father in law. She does not desire her father in law. She does not  fawn and adulate her father in law.

BUT. As she comes to know and love her Husband Jesus Christ, through Him she is able to be seated at the right hand of God the Father, right in His very Presence. She becomes adopted by the Father.

Her name is changed by her Husband. Her Husband’s God is her God. Her Husband’s people become her people.

Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God – Ruth 1:16

It’s an incredible priviledge for God to receive a person who joins themselves to Him willingly. At the end every knee will bow, but for right now it’s a willing acceptance. All of Heaven rejoices! We have a certain level of “free will” and when we take the time to see the good in Him, and we when we choose join ourselves to Him, and when we choose to identify find ourselves IN Him – as a part of Him – we gain a new identity through Him.

Ladies

Did you know that the bible calls on women to do the same to their husbands?

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. – Eph 5:22-24

Caution!

But let me please urgently add this. God is a good God. Jesus Christ proved His love for us by dying for us. And we see that and we respond to Him.

In that same way, women should submit to a man who has made Jesus Christ His own head in this same way. It would be risky to submit yourself to someone who does not believe in this way. It would be a disaster to submit to an abusive man in this way.

Ladies, before you join yourself to a man in this way, make sure he is submitted to Jesus Christ is this way too.

Men, submit yourself to Jesus Christ in this way… and He will bring you a helper who is also looking to submit to you in that same way.

Ladies, have you tried to submit to the wrong kind of man – how did it go? Men, are you submitted to Jesus Christ in this way? Leave your comment below.

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About Mark Wilson

I am a prayer missionary. Please subscribe, consider donating to support this ministry, leave a comment and stay in touch via FB or Twitter. God bless you :)

Discussion

20 thoughts on “How to find a Christian husband

  1. nice article.
    i’ll follow these advice and hope some day live with my Christian husband :))

    Posted by anukabanuka | April 25, 2012, 9:26 pm
  2. yes, i have tried to submit to the wrong kind of man! it was not a good thing, he was controlling, and the more (i allowed him to do), the more he felt he had a right to do! i am now divorced and looking forward to being in a Godly relationship sometime! Thank you, Mark!!

    Posted by 1flowergirl | April 25, 2012, 10:11 pm
    • Bingo! Im so sorry you went through that. I hope and pray that this is the last generation to make that mistake and men and women will get it right in future generations.

      God bless you and thank you for sharing 🙂

      Mark.

      Posted by Mark Wilson | April 25, 2012, 10:13 pm
    • Amen with you on that one. Its death to the inner person when you submit or becomes yorked to a person that has but a form of godliness

      Posted by pfimbiyangu | May 8, 2012, 5:06 pm
  3. Why do you think God wants wives to submit to their husbands? Why would He make a man the head of his wife? I understand certain other things that Paul wrote in regards to women (covering our heads, for example), but this I don’t.

    Posted by Leigh Anne | April 25, 2012, 11:44 pm
    • Mmmm this is a tough question. Let me try my best to share my view.

      I think that IF a man strives to be submitted to Jesus Christ as His head, then having had that experience makes the man able to be someone else’s head.

      So your question might be why the man? Why not the woman? And it’s a good question.

      If the man is doing what God says he should be doing, then he will be protecting his wife and kids, he will be focussed on the mission God has given him to do. For that kind of man, he needs a wife who is focussed on him, not on her own mission. There cant be two heads, each pulling in a direction.

      But still, your point could be, why not the woman? And indeed that scripture says for her to submit to the man AS SHE submits to the Lord. So she is expected to submit to the Lord as well.

      But still I think this doesn’t answer your fundamental question, why didn’t God make women the head? And let me say that in some cases the woman is stronger and she will naturally be the head. It’s not bad and not a sin. But it’s not what God had in mind.

      My view is that I’d like to see men become who God made them to be.

      We men – generally speaking – are designed completely differently to women. We are less emotional, more focussed on one thing at a time, more aggressive, physically stronger, we need less contact with people, we can work alone on projects and don’t need a community of people around us as much.

      All of this makes us a good design for someone who is going to be tasked to take dominion over a hostile world. So if we are doing that, then there is space for another person to come into our life who will do the other things that we are not doing or are not good at doing.

      In this way both work together to achieve the mission given by God. And remember, in the garden of Eden, although God taught Adam about his authority before Eve came along, God gave the mission to BOTH of them together. God did not give it to Adam only. But. Adam did name Eve, God did not name her.

      For me it comes down to our inherent design. Our designs are different and complementary. Together we need to learn to work well as a unit to achieve the mission God has given us.

      Bottom line is this, I think if women were the head then the family would be the focus of the marriage and the mission would be held back because of caution and fear.

      But with men as the head, the mission that God has given – the extension Kingdom – will be the focus that the couple pursue and the kids grow up knowing that they should also be pursuing.

      PLS bear in mind that these are all generalisations and are said from my POV. All these things differ from person to person.

      That’s my 2c. What do you think?

      God bless, Mark.

      Posted by Mark Wilson | April 26, 2012, 12:04 am
  4. I am struck by what you’ve said lately about your overcoming type faith, and how differently I see my own faith. The way I express my faith is through nurturing, one-on-one relationships. If my type of faith were to head a family, then yes, the mission would be more centered on nurturing the faith within my family, not so much on overcoming. Not that nurturing the family’s faith is a bad thing, but it shouldn’t be the only thing. I’m curious though by what you mean: the mission would be held back because of caution and fear?

    Posted by Leigh Anne | April 26, 2012, 1:08 am
    • Yes I think you have hit the nail on the head, if you were the head then the family would be the focus. But if an aggressive Jesus Christ and mission focussed man is the head, then the mission will be the focus.

      Posted by Mark Wilson | April 26, 2012, 10:33 am
  5. i am a christian African lady,hav read all the above including people’s comment bt hav nt yet been blessd wth someone special in my heart to submit to,bt havnt given up on God,am nt alone mayb outside in the world,am encouragng every woman evry man in the world,at HIS TIMING GOD MAKES ALL THINGS POSSIBLE,AM TRUSTNG GOD TO GET A WHITE-GOD FEARING PARTNER N A HUSBAND IN THS CASE.LOVE U ALL READING THIS.BLESSINGS.

    Posted by Evah lauryn | April 26, 2012, 3:14 am
  6. Very good article man

    Posted by Life Coach Ronnie Roque | April 26, 2012, 3:24 am
  7. I though I had found a Christian spouse. He was kind and generous and knew all the scriptures by heart. I didn’t really look at whether his works were producing fruits. As soon as we got married he dropped the act at home because he’s actually a narcissist and he changes personalities to get different types of women. I didn’t have a clue about this because he had never been married before and had such a squeaky clean image. He then began to abuse me emotionally, verbally and sexually at home and no one believed me. All I can say is really test whether someone is a Christian…look for consistent fruit…have someone else such as a pastor or ministry leader give their insight. There are some men who use the Christian label to cover and get away with their sin because it makes a great cover.

    Posted by Feefee | May 5, 2012, 3:04 pm
  8. *like* nice stuff Mark. I decided to do some blogging too… just informal and random thoughts…

    Posted by Cheryl | May 8, 2012, 4:40 pm
  9. Love this. Finally a blog that speaks to the feminist!! lol about being equally valuable but being different none-the-less. About being a help meet, not a doormat. Thats the problem I had in my younger years with being Christian but also being equality. The belittlement and mistreatment of women and girls just did not make sense just because they are female . I couldnt figure how God made females to be doormats and punchbags. Reading this clicks with me, its when women submit to ungodly men that what I rebel to happens. Its just sad where i come from these are the majority. The real men, the godly men are something like unicorn, hard to find….seriously

    Posted by pfimbiyangu | May 8, 2012, 5:15 pm
  10. I agree with some of what was said here but not everything. I believe Men and Women should seek God and strengthen their marriage through God. In complete agreement here… But I also believe they should be able to follow God’s plan for them. I don’t believe God has one plan for a couple and that a man should lead or the woman should lead. Yes they should be supportive of each other and recognize each others contributions. No doubt. In today’s world if one partner is allowed to make all the decisions, grow in their career, and the other is not then an inequality exists. I believe God has a plan for each of us…that we should each follow that spiritual journey or plan… That we should be supportive of one another and discuss things and make decisions as couples…. I lived in an unequal relationship. One where my partner had control and power over. That is not what I believe God intends for us. Every one is a sinner…Every one. To submit to your husband in my mind is not to give up total power and decision making to that person. Even a Godly man can fail or stumble… Look at some of the greatest Evangeilists of our time and what happened in their marriages.

    God said we should leave our family and become one, man and woman. To leave our family and become one. I believe that, however I have seen men who claim to be Godly and still sin or use this passage to abuse women. To tell them they must do what they say or follow their direction. I believe if both put God first, family second then that should be the main focus. The mission??? Hmmmmm??? Depends on the mission. If a family seeks to fulfill a single mission then it must be agreed upon what the mission is and what the focus is. I believe we each as individuals have a mission. Something God expects of us. Man or woman. I am seeing, in my country, more women supporting the family financially. My daughter is one of these women. I think in a way it is better because she is the one who is driven at this point in the marriage. He stays home, takes care of the children (one is handicapped) and she goes out and works. I see this occurring more these days and the one thing that dawns on me is that I think (because as Mark points out) that women are more focused on the family that she realizes and appreciates the job her husband does where I have seen men who become successful focus more on themselves and what they should have because of their success… Drawing them away from the family… Just what I have seen in my 51 years here… There is a change in this generation. More men staying at home.

    Bottom line is both should be equipped with an education, with a job, with the means to support the family should happen to one or the other spouse. It creates an equality if both are equally educated and successful. The downside of that is who raises our children then? I choose to stay home and raise my children when they were small. I don’t regret it but it left me at a disadvantage in both my education and career. My husband was an alcoholic and for that reason we separated…. I encourage all women to get educated if you stay home with the children, go to night classes even if one night a week. Earn a degree… This is my opinion and I don’t expect everyone to agree. I will end this by saying… Whoever raises the children, that is one of the most important and least paid jobs in the world. I have done that and climbed the corporate ladder too… The more difficult of the two was staying at home raising children…. Whoever does it should be appreciated greatly for the contribution.

    Posted by MamaDuke567 | May 30, 2012, 2:34 am
  11. Hmmm. Interesting and true piece Mark. It’s one of the reasons I have not yet married, besides the fact that it simply hasn’t been God’s will yet. 🙂 I’m glad I read this tonight though. As I’ve been contemplating marriage lately there are times when I’m excited at the prospect of it and other times when I feel down right fear. The Lord has to keep reminding me that “perfect love casts out all fear.”

    A few years ago I met and worked with a man who shortly after we met said, “You probably would have a hard time submitting to a man” meaning my husband. To which I responded, “I strongly disagree.” I have no problem submitting to the right man and had experienced the joy of trusting someone’s walk with the Lord so much that it was easy to submit to him. I had no problem submitting to him because he was submitted to the Lord. I may be a strong female, but I sure appreciate leaning on someone else and sharing the responsibility of decision making with someone else that I know has my back even if he may be wrong sometimes. There’s a peace in following someone whom you know is doing their best to follow the Lord.

    For me there is a joy in uplifting him and helping him to become all that God created him to be. I know the Lord has my back. I don’t always have to know the why God designed us the way he did, though I agree with your rationale. I’ve learned, however, that God’s way is perfect and I will always come out ahead or be taken care of when I obey him.

    Thanks for your faithfulness.
    B.

    Posted by B. Niles | June 7, 2012, 3:17 am
    • Hi B

      Your blog has come to mind several times recently 🙂

      Thanks for leaving your comment and sharing what is happening for you. I really appreciate it. Thanks also for your encouragement and for your affirmation.

      Yes, I think that it would be a wonderful gift for the man in your life (in future) if you would choose to submit to him.

      Im expecting that he has worked hard at submitting himself to Jesus Christ and as a result he now knows that it was not easy for him to do, so that journey might sensitize him to your own journey.

      I have found that. As I adjust myself to Jesus Christ, I’ve developed compassion and respect for women who adjust themselves to their husband

      Eph 5:33 let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [[f]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and [g]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly].

      God bless you as you journey along 🙂

      Love, Mark.

      Posted by Mark Wilson | June 7, 2012, 5:44 am
  12. This is a typical Christian man women see these days: White, stands 6’5″, is a doctor or lawyer, makes $500k a year, can speak in tongues, drives a Bentley, and owns mansions across Europe and the US.
    And then they complain they can’t find the right guy.

    Posted by Rahul | October 17, 2014, 4:28 am

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