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Men and women

Men… change how we think

Emily wrote two wonderful posts

and my post here is a response.

First of all, congrats to Emily on getting through to the final two in your blog category. You have done so well. God bless you as you continue to walk in this right way, while still being approachable and true to yourself.

Ok back to these posts… they are superb! I have been grumbling about this issue for quite a while – that Christian women are becoming increasingly secular in their behaviour and not walking in their God-given beauty.

I have been thinking A LOT about how women are intended for men and conform themselves to men. To be honest I think I just shrugged it off that men look at attractive women. Kind of “Oh well” and *sigh*. What I didn’t get until now is the connection between the two. As men’s eyes and values have slipped terribly, women have adjusted and changed to remain attractive to men.

What a powerful dynamic. As men we simply have to get our head and eyes out of the gutter.

  • Specifically, we can CHOOSE to find purity attractive.
  • We can choose to feel stimulated by modestly dressed and elegant women, and not by anything else.
  • Esepcially, we men have to find value in emotional intimacy rather than sexual attraction. The ability to “connect” is a far better indicator of success for a relationship than sexual availability.
  • When we are married we can have both – but before that… we have to LEARN to highly value emotional connection and intimacy.

In this way women can return to flaunting their emotional maturity in order to attract a mate… and that change alone will re-start a positive cycle. Healthier men, healthier women, healthier children.

God bless you Emily for a wonderful post.

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About Mark Wilson

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Discussion

5 thoughts on “Men… change how we think

  1. yay this makes so much sense I have been thinking it but haven’t said it for soo long. Yes women are under the control of men, when men go down a notch so do we. We just do as we’re told. If that means to be sexually minded and give into your horny high school or middle school boyfriend then we do. If that means wear next to nothing so men can get a better look then we do. Of course the examples ca go on forever. either way this is oo awesome to see a true depiction of our current society it’s ridiculous!!!

    Posted by purplegirl | July 5, 2008, 9:25 am
  2. Great article. Thanks for the work you are doing to reach men with God’s word.

    Posted by realmenrock | November 4, 2008, 8:25 pm
  3. thanks for this post.

    yes–i, as a christian woman, feel as though i am buying into the world’s ideas of success and what attracts men. though in my case, my problem is not so much about the looks, but more about the intellectual/academic successes expected from christian men around me.

    there are these great, solid, christian guys around me, and many of them have stellar professional degrees or came from prestigious universities…whereas i went to a state school with a degree that isn’t particularly fancy or fascinating, and nor have i gone to graduate school.

    do men care about where a woman attended school or what degrees she’s earned? it sounds silly to say all this, but deep down inside i feel like these men will not give me a second look because the university i attended was not as prestigious, or did not have a reputation as being a top tier school, and therefore they may pass judgment on me for not being as “intellectual”.

    as a christian, i should know God values me and makes me whole, yet i cannot help but feel so de-valued when it comes to how men might perceive me and my worth…how am i to think through this mindset and not be defeated by it?

    Posted by Anonymous | May 5, 2009, 4:52 am
  4. Attraction is not a choice, Mark. No amount of morality in a woman is going to give me an erection, period. And I think if you were honest with yourself you would admit the same.

    What we CAN do is refuse to lower our standards. We men have put up with so much self-centeredness and ungodly behavior in women just because they have nice bodies.

    We cannot force ourselves to be attracted to women who are not physically appealing, but by refusing to take any crap from hot women we give less attractive (but godly) women everywhere a better chance.

    -Paul Temple

    Posted by Paul | November 8, 2009, 8:30 pm
  5. Right on Paul

    Posted by Eric | March 10, 2010, 9:50 am

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