It’s easy to explain if I first explain what a lack of self confidence looks like.
Did you ever see Drew Barrymore in “Never been kissed”. Watch this trailer and I’ll explain what self confidence is.
Can you see that she’s always looking for someone to tell her she’s cool, she wants someone to tell her that she’s ok, she wants someone to say that she’s accepted.
She is constantly looking for affirmation. She’s not sure that she matters.
You can see it in her eyes. It’s like a craving, a hunger for identity. The only place she can find identity is if she makes some decisions.
Now look at her brother Rob… he’s rude, he’s an idiot, he’s stupid… and he’s very popular. How? Why?
Because he is so sure of himself. He knows who he is. He knows he is not a world beater – and he is OK with that. He knows he’s not the most anything and he’s ok with that.
It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re not good at… just be ok with that. Don’t look to others for affirmation. God says you’re ok. That settles it. Whatever raw deal you got in life, it’s how it it. Just accept it. Stop asking for people to tell you that you’re ok… just decide you are ok.
Nearer the end of the trailer Josie turns the corner. Rob says that if one person believes in her, she will become popular. That is a lie. It’s not about the clothes (Rob dresses awfully). It’s not about who you know (Rob doesn’t know anyone). It’s not about your age (Rob is too old to be at school).
She simply stops trying to be something she is not. She decides to be comfortable with who she IS and she stops worrying about who she is NOT.
- So she no longer walks in a way to not be noticed. She just doesn’t care if she is noticed or not.
- She doesn’t smile in a way to be liked, she just is herself and she smiles however she feel like smiling.
The bible says: Don’t be conformed to the standards of this world.
Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs],
but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude],
so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. – Rom 12:2
It’s so true… if you let society tell you what you are worth, they will tell you that you’re great and then trash and then great and trash… depending on what you do… if you conform to their standards.
But do you know what women respect?
They respect you if you can make decisions and if you can hold the line in the face of opposition. If you’re strong and definite. Wishy washy doesn’t cut it with healthy women.
Take a stand. WHAT you take a stand on must come from inside you. Don’t look around you to decide what OTHERS are taking a stand on.
I take a stand for women. I take a stand for me. I take a stand for God. I take a stand for people’s freedom to choose (and if they choose against God, I stand for His right to teach them). I take a stand for people who need help.
None of the things above which I stand for are “worldly” things. They get no street cred. No kudos. And yet women see my ability to take a stand and they respond.
Stop looking around for what other people are doing so you can figure out what to do… look inside at the gifts He has given you… and go use them.
Don’t look around for the crowd, instead take a stand for whatever you believe in.
God has made you a unique cog in a machine called the church. Be yourself and take your place.
No one else can make you… just look at yourself, accept yourself and go BE you.