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Courting

Four characteristics for the woman you choose

I’m reading an online book called “Get the ring” (get the CD on Amazon).

In this quote the Rabbi is saying that we should look for four values in a potential partner.

The first thing to watch for is: Core Values (or a higher commitment).

The person should be fully committed to some objective moral and ethical standard. The reason is because at the center of every human personality there is this core value, the thing that is most important in the world to that person. And then there are a bunch of satellite values that rotate around that value. More…

The second thing to watch for is: Treating Others.

The person who you want to marry should be a person who is going to take care of you, who is going to treat you nicely. And the easiest way to tell how they’re going to treat you after they marry you, is to see right now how they treat others who they don’t care about because they’re not trying to charm. So again, the key is to spend time with this person and watch how they treat others that they don’t know or don’t care about. The telephone operator — do they say thank you? Are they courteous? Do they curse the telephone operator after they hang up the telephone? Again, are they an aggressive driver? Are they rude to the waitress? More…

The third thing to watch for is: Communication Skills.

So the couple is in a fight and they’re arguing half an hour, an hour, two hours, sometimes even a day or two. And then it turns out at the end of the fight — Oh, it was just a misunderstanding. I thought you meant that. You didn’t mean that? Okay, we agree. — If that happens constantly, if the couple is constantly getting into misunderstandings which then lead to arguments, that’s not a good sign because that might not change. It’s very difficult for people to change their styles of communication. More…

The fourth thing to watch for is: Physical Attraction.

the person who you marry has to be somebody who you are physically attracted to. It has to be somebody that you wouldn’t mind kissing. That’s crucial because the physical is not a small part of a marriage. The physical is an essential part. It has to, of course, be an expression of something deep happening emotionally and spiritually, but it cannot be ignored. More…

So here’s a question for you. What are the things you look for in a partner? If you’ve already been married, what didn’t you look for and you lived to regret it? If you’re single, what do you think are good things to look for?

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About Mark Wilson

I am a prayer missionary. Please subscribe, consider donating to support this ministry, leave a comment and stay in touch via FB or Twitter. God bless you :)

Discussion

3 thoughts on “Four characteristics for the woman you choose

  1. I’ll kick it off.

    I have been married and divorced. In retrospect I wish that I had taken very strong note that our communication was terrible. We fudged it over for years, but it remained a big hamstring throughout.

    You guys?

    Posted by Mark Wilson | March 8, 2007, 7:48 am
    • #2 Treating others…..he was only nice to those giving him what he wanted….because we did not live together and I mostly met him around his family..dates never had much problems…I did not see how he treated people who did not give him what he wanted, or found a fault in him. Often the real reaction came months after the initial incident. For example a friend commented that he was rude…..a month later he would start bad mouthing that friend and distancing himself from that person. So i was so naive i didnt make the connections. He was overly nice to people to people who praised or adored him, the minute you didnt do this he treated you like an enemy with the intent of destroying you. Which was very deceptive because so many people to this day would attest to his excellent character because they were never close enough to see his dark side.

      Posted by Feefee | May 5, 2012, 3:21 pm
  2. Hey!

    you know, im a virgin at twenty five, most guys are like… find

    a girl, have some sex… oh, the most famous quote which i

    am sure you’ve heard of over and over again: “if you’ve

    never had sex before, what will happen when you marry?”

    just wanted to share, very few people understand the

    meaning of chastity, and its impact on spiritual

    development. i especially want to thank you the

    sections above on Physical Attraction – very important, and

    communication – vital!

    Posted by Samuel | September 24, 2009, 5:20 am

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